So I just got back last night from a brony convention in San Francisco. I was working a booth for a vendor friend, and let me tell you what happened:
We met a little girl who was there with her family. She got a button drawn at our booth, told us all about her favorite…
only losers have stacks of hundreds. hundredth percentile is the worst possible place you can be. I’m number one, it’s lonely at the top, but at least I got my dollar bills. I like them like I like cute girls: singles.
Those of us that still have a screen name on youtube are the resistance. Fuck google if they think they can refer to us by anything other than xXuchihahawolverine21Xx
I Love My Friends So Much That I Hate Myself
Remember when it was you with the fun cute girlfriend and the awesome sex life and you were going places and fuck fuck fuckkkk i love my friends so much
What To Do When Your Boyfriend’s Asshole Best Friend Says, “Hey, Never Trust Anything That Bleeds For Seven Days And Doesn’t Die,
OR The Only Poem I’ll Ever Write About Periods.
Don’t excuse him because he’s had
at least three lite beers
and is sweating through his black button down
that his mom or exgirlfriend
probably bought him.
Don’t excuse him because he’s been turned down
by the last six girls he went on dates with
after meeting them on tindr
with a picture that’s seven years old
Don’t excuse him because
he’s usually such a nice guy
because you don’t want to be a bitch
because you don’t want to cause a scene
because when you were seventeen
your sister told you
no one likes an angry feminist
Let me explain something to you.
Every goddamn motherfucking month since I was eleven,
a part of me
tore itself to shreds
ripped itself apart inside me
and then remade itself.
So yes, I bleed for seven days
and I don’t die
You know what else can do that?
Things of legend.
Fuck, I can even
So I say, never trust anything that can’t
bleed for seven days and not die.
You know what that makes it?
So let’s see, hon,
What you’re made of.
If you can bleed for seven days
and not die.
Rip out his jugular with your teeth.
And when he bleeds for seven seconds
spit on his corpse and say,
I thought not.
I’ve been conditioned by society to disrespect and mistreat girls so much that even while I am consciously putting forth effort to treat you well I will still ooze discrimination, so please punch me in the neck if I slight you in any way.
I Don’t Give A Shit If You Make Jokes About White People Or Men Because They Are Usually Hilarious.